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DiscipleGeekette

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http://treyandchristina.com

Posts by Christina :

Safe and Loved

Safe and Loved

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This morning my littlest one was trying to fall back asleep after being fed and getting a diaper change.  She kept stirring, and couldn’t quite settle. Then she grabbed onto my hand and stilled. As parents, we struggle often with whether we are making the right decisions for our children and our family. We’ve had to make a bunch of big decisions for our family this year and none were easy or chosen lightly.   No matter what decision you make about anything, you will have 10 experts from the other side saying that you’re doing it wrong and will permanently mess your child up in some way of taking that path. We homeschool and that’s not ok because socialization or since I’m not a trained teacher I am doing my children a disservice.  We discipline too much or not enough. We get told by strangers how well behaved our children are (last night someone told us this, and it always feels good to hear), or have them sneer at us as they misbehave or are loud in some way (bless them, these little ones take after their loud Mama). I hold my babies too much or am horrible for letting any of them ever cry it out.  So many everyday things that no matter what you do, you are wrong.  

My littlest this morning, by grabbing my hand, taught me something.  I’m doing this parenting thing right, at least in some ways. She finds safety and comfort in me.   She knows that as long as she is with her daddy or me that she is safe and she is loved. We kiss boo-boos.  We hold them when their hearts are broken (and wish we could take all the pain away). We tell them we love them and are proud of them.  We pray with them and for them. We aren’t perfect, not at all, but I know all of our children feel safe and loved, and today, for me, that’s more than enough. 

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Grief and Birthdays

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Birthdays have typically been something I’ve looked forward to and enjoy.  My 30th was particularly amazing since my first baby girl was born that day.  I always say it was a good distraction from turning 30. Birthdays are school holidays for us as homeschoolers.  The kids enjoy getting to have their birthday off of school. Today is Willow’s and my birthday, so we’re enjoying our school holiday.  Well, Willow is at least. 3 years ago is when I realized that I don’t really enjoy birthdays anymore. Instead it’s a reminder of loss.  

In June of 2015 my world came crashing down when my mom suddenly passed away.  She passed away in her sleep. She had just watched my older two the morning before when I had a doctor’s appointment for my pregnancy with our third baby.  It was completely unexpected. I could barely sleep for months after, let alone do anything but the minimum requirement of taking care of my little ones. My 33rd birthday was my first birthday without my mom.  It had been almost a year since I had lost her, but it hit hard that day. I did my best to focus on Willow and helping her to have a good birthday. All I wanted to do was stay in bed and wait for the day to pass by. My hubby did his best to make it special and support me.  I just couldn’t shake the sadness. The sudden grief coming back full force.

My 34th birthday was a little easier.  Possibly because the distraction of spending it at our local Renaissance Faire that we go to each year as my birthday gift.  It still hit he at times throughout the day. My wonderful husband is amazing and just holds me when those waves hit.

 My 35th was a bit easier still, although it made me think of how my mom would never meet the little one that was growing in my belly.  

At the end of April last year, I watched as my Daddy took his last breath. In some ways his death was easier since I got to spend his last weeks with him and had a chance to say goodbye.  However, it’s never easy to lose someone you love. I still miss him terribly and some days are really difficult.  Today is one of those days.

At 36 years old I’m spending my first birthday without my mom or dad. The sadness is overwhelming. I never thought birthdays would be something hard to get through.  I have known some that didn’t celebrate their birthdays at all as it was just a reminder of the grief of losses they’d faced, but I couldn’t fathom it.  Not until I experienced it myself. I’m thankful to have had another year. I pray I get more years to watch my little ones grow and spend time with my loved ones.  But, just for today, I will allow myself to feel this grief and think of the parents I love dearly that I sorely miss and maybe we can celebrate tomorrow.

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My Mother’s Bible

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Today is my first mother’s day without my mom.

I have been dreading this day for weeks now. Last week there were multiple days I was so depressed at the thought of this day without her I could barely function. Losing my mom has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to face in my life. From regrets of how I treated her at times growing up, to wishing I would’ve had her show me how to make her chicken salad (to which all other chicken salad pales in comparison), to aching for my youngest child that will never be held by his LaLa. It is so very true that you can’t ever know how hard it is to lose a parent until you do yourself (of course the same goes for losing a child as well, and my heart aches for those mamas today that have faced that).

This morning my Father in law who is a wonderful preacher taught a great sermon that was about mothers. At one point during the lesson where I was trying not to focus on how much I missed her, I looked down at my bible. My bible that was hers, that she had gotten to celebrate my birth. In that moment, I realized that I still have her. I can study the bible with her by seeing her highlights and reading the notes she’s written in it. Her loving manner is in my oldest son who will run up to strangers in the store and ask if he can hug them and tells them that he loves them. There’s been a time or two you could see it in their eyes that they needed that. Her gentleness is in my daughter who as I was crying last week on one of those days hugged me tight and just simply told me that she loves me and misses LaLa too. Her warmth is in my youngest who just lights up a room with his sweet smile. He has been such a ray of sunshine through this difficult year.

People often tell me just how special and sweet my mom was. How much she’s missed. The great example she left for them. She lives on through them and the things they tell me about her. Sometimes things I didn’t know. My siblings and I were very blessed to have her as our mother. I’m so thankful for the example she left, especially that of her faith. Often the thought of her, no matter how happy the memory, can leave me feeling as if my heart has been ripped apart… But today in that moment looking at my mother’s bible I had a sense of peace and comfort. In that moment, I knew that she would truly always be with me. Happy Mother’s Day mom. I love you and will miss you always.

Proverbs 31: 25-31

25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.

Teresa Harbaugh

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Love Your Babies

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I recently had surgery on my knee and my in-laws watched our two toddlers for us while I was incapable of doing so (Thank you so much!). They, unfortunately, live 3 hours away so we went a whole month without seeing them. It was tough on everyone, especially my 3 year old little boy. He had fun with his grandparents, but every time we were on the phone with him, he would ask us (specifically Daddy) to come get him and bring him home. It broke our hearts (I may or may not have cried when he would ask that). Ever since he has been back he has been extra clingy. He even had a meltdown the other night when my husband ran into the store real quick to get a gallon of milk. This wasn’t just a fit because he wanted to go too and didn’t get his way. He was screaming for Daddy to come back and crying because he was afraid of Daddy leaving him again.

We have many military friends that have to be away from their family way too often and for longer than we had to be apart. I am thankful for our military personnel that make this sacrifice for all of us. I know it is hard on them. It is hard for anyone to be away from those they love for an extended period of time. The hardest separation that any of us can face, however, is when someone we love leaves this world.

During the month my kids weren’t home, two people I love passed away. That grief made me miss my babies all the more. One was my Aunt Nancy who had been battling lung cancer for years. She was so genuine, kind, loving, and giving. She was an amazing woman. She will be sorely missed. I will always regret that we didn’t drive the few extra hours to go see her when we visited my dad this past summer. We had intended to, but the kids were already having a tough time with all of the driving and we opted not to go. I lost my last chance to see her. We also lost a good friend of ours who was an elder in the congregation we are a part of. Trey wrote a post about him a couple of weeks ago: In Honor of Brother Vinson

This week has been very hard on friends of ours. We have some friends who lost their young niece to cancer on Sunday, a coworker and friend of my husband lost his wife yesterday, a friend of mine lost his father earlier this week, and today a friend of ours lost her mother.

All of these things make me think about how we are not promised tomorrow. Neither are our children. I hold my babies a little bit tighter any time I hear of someone losing their child- whether it is a friend or a stranger my heart breaks for them. We never know how much time we have left. There is no way to know if that will be the last time I get to hold them.

Each time someone dies people say that you need to spend more time on the important things: tell those you love that you love them, spend extra time with those that matter to you even if it might be a little inconvenient sometimes. How many of us take that to heart? How many of us only do it for a short time then get back into our day to day rush where we miss those precious little moments with our family? I know I have been guilty of doing it. Hold your babies, love your babies, thank God for your babies and that you are blessed with another day with them. Tell them you love them all the time. You can still get things done (chores, work, etc.) and take an extra few minutes to just be with them. Don’t take this time for granted. Call your parents more to let them know you are thinking of them. Make time for those that matter to you. Even if it is just sending them a quick text to let them know you are thinking about them. Don’t wait to do it, you may not get another chance.

“Whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” James 4:14

Clipping-Coupons

Coupons Are the Best/Alicia is My Hero

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Clipping-Coupons

Another guest post by my gorgeous wife.

So, a few years back my friend Alicia kept posting pictures of big piles of stuff that she got for $2 and crazy amounts like that. It kinda gave me the bug to start couponing. I have always thought it was a good idea, but I never really realized how much you could save if you do it right. Alicia emailed everyone interested some tips, websites, etc. to get started couponing.

I had been an occasional coupon user before, but once I really got started I was mad at myself for not having started sooner. I save about 30% to 50% every grocery trip… there are even some times I have saved up to 70%+. This is even with not planning thoroughly each time! Imagine what I could do if I really focus and use all of the resources available!

We are doing our Dave Ramsey baby steps and trying to cut where we can and trying to get “gazelle intense” about getting out of debt. Since I am working VERY few hours now that Willow is here, it is part of my job as homemaker to make every dollar of Trey’s paycheck count. My goal is to cut our grocery budget by 1/3 to 1/2 of what it is now.

Yes, it can definitely be time consuming sometimes, but it is worth how much you can save that hard earned money!

I am going to share a few tips from my limited coupon knowledge:

1. If your grocery store has different “clubs” that will give you coupons, sign up! Most of our savings comes from baby club coupons at Publix and Winn Dixie.

2. Even if you only print coupons or buy papers for them, match your coupons up with current deals. You can do this yourself or use websites like southernsavers.com or couponmom.com.

3. Find out the coupon policies for the places you shop at most.

4. Just do it already! You know you wanna

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